Its hard to live with her

I live with my best friends grandma... we call her Gammy. I love gammy dearly she is a great joy to be around most of the time she takes care of me feeds me makes sure i'm up for work. But sometimes i really just dont understand where she gets what she says. Like for instance today I was reading off a status update my dad posted on facebook. it said "mike misses his youngest, do what you gotta do" and i read it to her because i thought it was sweet and showed that he missed me and loves me but understands that i cant be coming home all the time to see him or whatever and right after i read that she said "well that means you need to grow up" in this tone like i'm living in a fantasy world and i need to grow up and get away from my dad.

it really hurt my feelings because my dad is my life he is who i do everything i do for he is the one i'm trying to make proud in everything i do he is the one i miss the most out of every one in norwalk because he understands me.... he loves me no matter what i do but he always wants something better for me. and for her to just sit there and say that i need to grow up like i'm not already i've been living away from my entire family for 5 years. i miss them all so terribly. and because of this long distance relationship i have lost touch with alot of them and dont talk to alot of them anymore which is upsetting but the truth. her grand daughter who happens to be my best friend has never been away from her family. and she's told me that she could never do that she could never been this far away from her family for this long it would be too hard on her and her dad is to her like mine is to me. everything. so i think if i have a day where i really miss my daddy and wanna feel like he misses me too i dont think it should be a big deal.

gammy is a very emotionless person. she has her happy her sad her depressed her angry but alot of them she doesnt show. so then there's me who has TONS of emotion and i show every single one of them. if i'm angry you know if i'm sad you know if i'm depressed you know. and that makes her mad because she thinks that every time i'm angry or mad or depressed i shouldnt be. its human emotion i'm allowed to feel whatever way i would like to feel. she gets frustrated with me when i get into my lovey dovey moods and like to think that when i watch a romantic movie that someday things like that will happen to me. and she sits over in her little chair and just scowls at me and says that those things never happen and to not hold my breathe and whatever.

so then i get depressed and upset because i was up in such a high thinking life could get better from here and she just pulls me back down to what she thinks is reality but i dont think it is. i think that someday some guy will come sweep me off my feet and be the most romantic sweet loving guy i've ever met. yeah we will fight we will bicker... i mean i already know that i'm a moore its almost like i like to fight and bicker but it doesnt mean that the sweet stuff will never happen or the nice things will never get done for me

so i'm going to sit here on my throne and wait for that special guy because i know he is out there... just ask my daddy he'll tell ya! haha

anyways i'll stop ranting about gammy she's a great lady and i am glad that she's letting live here and feeding me and what not but she just needs to understand that i DO have a lot of mood swings that i cant control and if you've got me in a good mood you probably shouldnt say things like that to put me in a bad mood because now its all down hill from here for the rest of the day.... but i cant explain that to her because she will never understand...

HI! =)

Just doing an update. Ive been in norwalk since my last post and a lot has gone on... i especially miss bonnie and jj and tara and gammy but i love spending time up here... today is my daddys birthday he's 52 years young!!!

well i got an interview with UDF in milford on monday at 11am i am so excited about i really need to start working again to keep my bills paid! haha but i would love to have my job back at NOM so hopefully some day i do but if not i'm sure i'll find another great job somewhere that i loved just as much as that one

miss you all talk to you all soon

byes :)

**Raises Glass** Here's to my Luck

Well for the past 6 months my life has gone down the shitter.... not just once or twice but like four times! i keep picking myself up dusting off and tripping and falling all over again. 

It all started when my fiancee of 3 years decides he doesnt love me anymore and instead of being a man and coming and telling me this, he decides to be a D-Bag and cheat on me wait until i find out deny it for a couple days then come out and tell me everything and tell me that he's leaving me for her because she's divorcing her HUSBAND for him... thats right folks i said husband... she was married... but whatever... i was DEVASTED beyond belief because it was like a rug being pulled out from underneath me. I moved in with my friends grandma tried starting over and it took me until about Janurary 1st to really truely understand that we were over.

During this time in December my car started going to hell in a hand basket. It started with brakes $300 in cincy drove it to Norwalk had someone else look at it he finished the brake job and put on a new exhaust for $600.... thats $900 right there! mind you my car is only worth $1500! so then after the first of the year when i was back in cincinnati we started getting our month of snow we always get my i'm in rush hour when my car dies just shuts off and wont start again. took it to pep boys they said it was the battery they replaced it i got it back that night it died again. so i took it back to pepboys after 2 days of diagnostic and $200 later it was a broken wire... one simple little freaking $100 wire... bastard... and that happened just last week....

now are you ready for the Doosie?

I have been working for a real estate development company since april 2007 i love my job love the people i work with and if they paid me more i probably would've dropped out of college to work here the rest of my life. well during this wonderful economic depression our country is going through my company starts losing money and starts laying off people... 1st round goes by i'm safe 2nd round goes by i'm safe... 3rd times a charm right? thats right today Wednesday Feburary 11th 2009 i have officially been laid off from my first job ever at the wonderful age of 22 (almost 23!!! 18 more days)

so as i sit here pretending to work for my last few days i will probably be thinking of all the horrible things that are going on in my life get really depressed go to the bar after work drive home drunk and pass out... i'm kidding... really daddy i'm just kidding! haha but it will be a very somber 3 days and then friday after i leave this office for the last time with all of my possessions i will be driving to norwalk to see the people that mean the most to me... my family... i really need daddy megan time... it is the most theraputic time even more than time with friends or other family because my daddy he understands me he pushes me far enough so i understand he's serious and still cares but doesnt push me over the edge he has just the perfect hug or the perfect look to make me ball my eyes out (hence the new years eve incident) and i'll come back to cincinnati on either sunday or monday or maybe NEXT friday and i'll be refreshed and ready to start my challenge of finding a new job and getting ready to start school again at the end of march and ready to turn my bad luck BACK into good luck... 

so until then take care

i might post more the next few days... i'll be taking lost of pictures... cause thats what i do so i'll share... here's a few just for fun!!!

My Life Story

OK! are you ready for this... its my life story... well kinda... just explains my cycle i go through

so i've been having a good week until LAST NIGHT... It started snowing around noon yesterday but i was too busy at work to leave and because they said we were only going to get 1-2 inches... dumbass weather men and women NO we got POUNDED with 8-12 inches of snow... idiots... anyways i left work at 5 pm... traffic was crawling so i wasnt too nervous well after about an hour of sitting in traffic i was on 275... moving at a rate of MAYBE 5mph and thats pushing it and my car just SHUTS OFF... yes it just SHUT OFF luckily i was able to steer it off the side of the road so i wouldnt be blocking traffic and i thats when i started to freak... i started shaking uncontrollable, crying, hyperventalating, and everything else... GOSH! so i called tara and she calmed me down... with a lot of "STOP CRYING I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU" haha she says to me alot... but anyways i calmed down and told her i was stranded and my car wouldnt start so she started with this...

Tara: do you have gas

Me: yes its full just filled it up last night

Tara: did it over heat

Me: no temperature gauge was on cool and the radiator new

Tara: will it turn over when you try to start it

Me: yes but wont start...

so she said to call bonnie and see if her brother with the durango could come get me and call my boss and see if he could come get me and if not then her and derrick would come and get me in his truck...

SO...

i called bonnie... her house first... no one answered... her cell... it has no minutes.... i started crying again... calmed my self down and called greg... he was funny the conversation kinda went like this

Greg: do you have gas

Me: yes i filled it up last night

Greg: did it over heat

Me: no the temperature gauge was in cool and the radiator is new

Greg: your car is a piece of shit

Me: thanks are you going to come and get me or not

Greg: yeah i will

haha so he came to pick me up only took him a half hour to get to me but it took us another half hour or so to get to my apartment... thanks greg owe you.... baked you cookies... lol

so while i'm waiting for greg i called my dad... conversation went like this

Dad: what happened

Me: the car just SHUT OFF

Dad: do you have gas

Me: yes i filled it up last night

Dad: did it over heat

Me: no dad YOU replaced the radiator... the temperature wasnt even hot

Dad: are you safe...

Me: thanks for asking me NOW if i'm safe....

ok it really didnt go like that but its kinda how i remember it ... anyways the point is that EVERYONE i talked to asked me the SAME questions haha so the next few people i called... bonnie lauri gammy i just blurted out the answers before they could ask... kinda sounded like this

Me: ok i'm stuck on the side of the road my car just shut off while i was drive i made it to the shoulder i'm not blocking traffic yes i have gas no it didnt overheat the temperature gauge was on cool and the radiator is new yes i'm ok a little cold but ok and greg is on his way to pick me up... (breathing heavy from saying it all in one breath) 

so then they understood the whole situation and knew i just wanted to talk to someone

so anyways 30 mins later greg pulls up i walk in 42" of snow (exageration) and get in his truck he takes me home as soon as i get home i strip down from all my wet clothes (whistles not needed here) and get into warm clothes climb on to the couch under my afgan that my g-ma moore made me and snuggle with my cat... 

THEN!!!! i had to call all 42 people back that i called while sitting in my car to let them know i was home safe.. THEN i made chocolate chip cookies... which were amazing... then i watched some quality TV (NCIS The Mentalist & Without a Trace) 

THEN i went to bed

Whew... my story is done... but this is my life story once it all starts going good something bad HAS to happen to mess it all up... thank you who ever is pulling the strings of my life for doing that.... its going to make a GREAT book someday!

OH! and i'm going to take pictures when we go get it towed so i'll post them here K? K!

Something down a Different Path!

today i wanted to write something funny because it seems like everyone is down in the dumps... so i'm going to share a few stories with you that keep me laughing through all the rough spots

i would first like to point out... that yes my hair is brown NOT blonde contrary to MANY peoples beliefs... i just have a slight ditzy clutzy side to me! lol so please enjoy!

We'll start with something fresh that happened to Bonnie and I while visiting her place of employment... McDonalds!

Ok a little history... Bonnie is a shift manager at the local McDonalds near her house. There is a sweet boy there... named... well i forget his name... so we'll call him Willis... Well willis has a crush on dear ol bonnie... and doesnt exactly know how to deal with it. so charles (another fabricated name) tells willis to ask her out on a date. Well one day Bonnie and her sister nikke and i decide to go to target while we're there and we became hungry. Mcdonalds was the closest resturant that was cheap haha so we decided to go there. while we are there willis decides to come out into the dining room and talk to us asking bonnie if she's single (she said yes even though she wasnt) so we stayed probably for about an hour talking to her co-workers eating our food and what not and willis never got up enough courage to ask bonnie on this date he was thinking about. BUT dont worry he gets the courage to ask something haha! As we're getting ready to leave... Nikke and I are walking out Bonnie is behind me i hear willis ask bonnie this...

Willis: so bonnie you like being sing?

Bonnie: uhh yeah i can have fun that way

Willis: well if you ever get sick of it which i know you will because it sucks then i can help you out with that

at this point i'm pratically peeing my pants RUNNING out of the door Bonnie said something or other to him and came jolting out yelling at us to calm down he's a nice boy... yeah he's a nice boy he wants to help you with your being single problem haha the rest of the night i just kept asking bonnie if i could help her with being single! lol still to this day i bring it up everyonce in a while just to rub it in! haha... oh and she never did go on the date with him

Ok so that story reminded me of this one... haha

one time back when i was with Rich-nerd and we were living in eastgate woods we went to McDonalds on a saturday morning. Not the same mcdonalds.... a different one.. haha... Well we ordered our breakfast waited FOREVER to get it. when they finally gave me the bag... i didnt check it... i just drove away and back home. when we got home and rich-nerd dumped out the bag to get his food and leave mine of the floor (he always did this by the way... jerk...) we come to find out they gave us a bag full of coffee ground... just the silver little bags full of coffee grounds that they were planning on putting in their little coffee maker to make someone some deliciously good mcdonalds coffee haha... so we got back into the car drove BACK to mcdonalds walked in and gave them the coffee the manager started laughing and showed everyone in the place the mistake and gave me a free coffee hahaha

ok this next story has NOTHING to do with the rest BUT its still funny haha

so back in 2004 i moved to cincinnati to attend the university here in this great city. i moved into siddall dorm and had a corner room by the elevator. Now if you've never been in a dorm the corner rooms are ALWAYS bigger and being by the elevator is great because after a long night of drinking 4 flights of stairs is unbearable and the elevator ride will most definitly make you throw up so your room is right there and instead of running all the way down the hall to the bathroom where EVERYONE here's the echoing of your dry heaving gaging sounds you are in the comfort of your own room!  No daddy i have no experience with this... please skip the the next story... thanks! anyways now that my dad is gone. one of the first nights i drank with tara we were on the way back from Jeremys frat house with CJ and there were some cute little skater boys skate boarding near our dorm. Drunk me decides to talk to them... so tara and CJ leave me there to talk to these boys... thanks tara! and as i'm talking to them they start lecturing me about how drinking is bad and its against gods way and that they can save me if i just quit drinking and go to church with them.... i ran away... far away... so i get back to the dorm... DONT HAVE A KEY TO GET IN!!! thanks tara... and have to wait for someone else who does have a key to the door to let me in.... when i finally do get into the dorm i look at the stairs.... turn around and head for the elevator... luckily i only live in the 4th floor or else i woulda spewed junks in the elevator HAHA but i make it back to the room and start throwing up... thanks tara.. haha... by the time she comes back with CJ i'm wandering around my room in my underwear wrapped in my blanket... the best part is i was throwing up in my trashcan on my bed... and the trash can was MESH so the puke needless to say.. .DIDNt stay in the trash can and i had to buy myself a new comforter... thanks again tara... HAHAHA

i know for a fact there's plenty of more funny stories... especially from the dorms... like little legs dangling off the bunk bed not being able to reach the desk so just falling onto the ground or the laser beam and screaming mother f-er out the window... skateboarding down the halls and putting gold fish in the toilets... ahh such good times and those are just in the dorm! imagine what i remember from high school and after the dorm life... more will be soon to come i promise!!!

Stress Level to a Minimum PLEASE!

Wow so we've had really bad weather this week like 9" of snow and 1" of ice. I havent been to work in 2 days because of it, so yesterday Billy and I cleaned off Gammy's car and my car to get them out and move able to try and get to work today and what not. So I hung out with Billy most the day which is always fun... he's really funny and easy to talk to. And he's going to hang out with Bonnie, Justin, and myself tomorrow night so that should be fun. But we went to go pick up Bonnie and go to the grocery store. Meijer was a lot of fun we were all kinda running around everywhere trying to get everying in a short amount of time... i was out of breath when i left that place! haha. OH! and the HOTTEST woman EVER helped up with our coupons! haha Billy really enjoyed looking at her!

After grocery shopping Gammy and Suzie made chilli and while we were waiting for that to cook Bonnie decided she wanted to write a little note to billy telling him to ask me out on a date... he refused and was just being a jerk about it. Bonnie didnt even mean it seriously and I dont even like billy! haha so then things got real awkward so i went in my room and texted bonnie and told her to stop because it was making me mad haha it was like high school ALL OVER AGAIN... 

so Billy and Bonnie felt bad and drew me a picture it was real cute... a man with boobs lol he was fishing and had a picnic and billy made me hang it up on my wall... its still there ;)

Billy and his mom and sister left about 8:30 and I took Bonnie home shortly after that. And when i got home and got my shower sat down on my bed for some reason my hopes were really down i got really depressed and i tried to reach out to some friends just to talk and forget about all the negativity that was in my head and no one was there... bonnie was asleep anthony was ignoring me practically and stefano never gets on that late... so i was left by myself in the dark or so it felt but i took a few sleeping pills cause i know my head and when i'm in that mood there is no sleep in my future and i passed out till 8am. when i woke up i really didnt think about much except my drive to work because it was going to be bad...

the roads were not even cleared yet. miami township is absolutely ridiculous the roads were backed up because of accidents on the highway. it usually takes me 20 mins to get to work and this morning it took me an hour

but once i got here to work i started to stress about last night AGAIN! so i got on AOL and started talk to my two biggest saviors... Bonnie Bonnie and Stefano... they are great help to my outlook on life... bonnie is the person that says its ok it will get better not everyone will be perfect dont set to high of standards... which makes me realized the reality of it all... and stefano just threatens to kick everyones ass haha so they both know exactly what to say to get me grounded back on my feet and my head held up high looking in the right direction and ready to step ahead... thanks guys... love ya!

My Minds Un-Weaving

todays blog will be about.............. ugh i dont know... let me think for awhile

ummm

umm

uhhh

hmmm

haha i have an idea... there is this song called ... it ends tonight by all american rejects that i just LOVE i'm going to post the lyrics... THEN i'm going to TRY and tell you what i think they mean.... or in other words what they mean to me.... k? k!

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
Your finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

[Chorus]
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight
Won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when your blind
It's better than I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right,
It's too late to fight,
It ends tonight,
It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight, just a little insight
Won't make this right, it's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight,
Tonight,
Insight,
When darkness turns to light it ends tonight

and there's the video... ok...

this song to me is about someone that you love very deeply but for some reason or another have to 

let them go.. they are suffocating you... or something other than that that has forced a situation upon

yourself to seperate from from the person cut ties and move one... this person is really hard to

please you try and try to give them everything they want but its just never enough... in the chorus i 

think he's talking about finally being done with the struggle of being with that person... the second

verse is about falling away from that person and they start seeing things about you that they had

no clue you even possesed. things they may not like but you have no reason to explain anything to

them because you no longer belong together. best line of the whole song...

"now i'm on my own side... its better than being on your side"

and at the end of the song he's putting this all together and understands... that... when darkness

turns to light... it ends tonight....