sittin here studying astronomy... DEPRESSING... listening to secondhand serenade songs... DEPRESSING... that remind me of my ex... DEPRESSING.... ugh
sometimes i just wanna know why its so hard to NOT think of someone.
why they wont leave your head just for 1 DAY.
good thoughts and bad thoughts but they are still there...
always determining WHAT you do WHEN you do it and WHY you do it.
im in school in that depressing class because he PUSHED me to be there he showed me that i am so much BETTER than him and i will be a GREAT URBAN PLANNER some day and he showed me that by cheating on me and forcing me to BREAK DOWN my comfort walls i had built up around my life...
there is this song that secondhand serenade performs called goodbye... i find it to be perfect for how i'm feeling right now
he says he's sorry and then blames himself for the mistakes... but it doesnt matter cause no matter whose fault it was he cant breathe even though he knows they are better off apart
he realizes that everything they had been through was a lie that made him learn to hate her for doing it and himself for letting it happen or letting it get that far
and then... there is.... 40 seconds of music that starts off real soft and gets stronger and stronger and then for another 30 seconds they are just rocking out.... then he asks her to take his pain away because he wants to believe he's wrong even though he's not
that small instrumental break to me represents the stages of break up that i went through. the first very quiet part the mourning and as it gets louder i was becoming more attuned to my situation and accepting of it. then the rocking out is the part that i finally realized i didnt need him and can function completely on my own with out him. but now i'm in the stage of asking him to take my pain away because i dont want to be right about things i have realized and have stepped back and seen what i have done and the pain i caused other people great or minimal its still pain
he's not worth my tears.
but then if a guy is worth your tears... i'm guessing he wouldnt make you cry
and if he did... he would do anything in his power to make it better and make those tears go away
people say i live in a dream
and sometimes i think i do
i'm here waiting 4 my prince charming... studying astronomy
cause i've done enough chasing and courting its time for a guy to treat me right
time for a guy to sweep me off my feet totally and completely
but i'll keep dreaming... cause from time to time it makes me happy and makes me smile... even if its only a dream....
Megan, we should talk. I can offer insights as I have been where you are! Except the part about the astronomy! I find it fascinating and LOVE IT! PS. Go to http://www.hnsky.org/software.htm and download the Free HNSKY Program! It is incredible and will help you with the class! Call me! Or do I have to come down there? Love and MISS YOU! HONEST! IF you hang in there happiness will be your revenge, and it is sweeter than HONEY! And life is sooo much better when you have been through the fire of hurt! (You can quote me on that!) Your Fav. Uncle Dave!
ReplyDeleteNow that is some of the best words, I've ever hear "happiness will be your revenge" I like that, Thanks Uncle Dave.
ReplyDeleteMegan, it's time for a visit, your Uncle and I will be down soon to see you. Need a spot to hang out and work at getting our heads straight.
I googled secondhand serenade and yes, depressing! Stop listening to them now.
Love ya daughter of mine, the pain will slowly go away, the memory is there forever, regrets and all.
As Erin say's, "power to the people cuz the people want peace!"
I can still come down there and break his legs! That'd be good revenge too! Ok, just one leg! Chicken leg! Will snap easy! Luv Ya!
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